I was in Orlando this past week and had the opportunity to enjoy the sights of the obliviots at the Los Angeles and Orlando airports. I use the word obliviot* because they are very selfish and act as if they are the center of the universe. It’s not that they don’t care about their fellow man, they just fail to think about them. Tonight, I would like to share with you some thoughts on how you can avoid being the obliviot.
Pay attention to people around you, don’t assume that because you don’t see them they aren’t there. Stopping while walking is great way to upset people who are walking behind you. They falsley assume you will continuing walking. A person walking behind you may be using a cane, a walker, or carrying a few cups of coffee. They will be forced to either collide with you or in avoiding you, collide with another sane person. If you need to stop, give a quick look behind you and make sure it’s OK to stop suddenly. Or better yet, pull off to the side, out of the path of traffic. Those folks who give you a forced smile and say they are sorry really think that you are an idiot.
When they announce that the handicapped, families with small children, and the elderly needing a little extra time are welcome to pre-board, that does not mean that first class and priority status are free to huddle up and force those pre-boards to get lost in the crowd. If you like massing up in front of the boarding gate, fly Southwest, be with the folks who like the cattle treatment. But if you are traveling on a regular airline, wait in an area away from the gate until your group is called. If they haven’t called your group, you are not allowed to muck up the process. When you are standing around blocking the gate before your group is called, I’m betting there are people behind you wearing a forced smile thinking you are an idiot.
When boarding the airplane, pull your carcass into a row and get yourself settled. Don’t get situated or look through your carry-on while standing in the aisle. That line of folks waiting patiently for you, with forced smiles, thinks you are an idiot and really wishes that evil things would happen to you.
When you are in the air, just because your seat reclines, doesn’t mean you need to recline it. I can’t tell you how many times they guy in front of me will recline his seat, forcing me to be a T-Rex, all the while he is hunched forward reading a magazine. I will adjust the air vent so the cold air blows on your head, or I will kick the back and underside of your seat like a 6 year old. You are an idiot and should be treated like one. Before reclining your seat, turn around and ask your fellow traveler if it’s ok to do so. 9 times out of 10, my forced smiled means I think that you are a nice guy.
Anyway, that’s my rant from the porch talk this evening. Please don’t be an obliviot!
* obliviot (n) Oblivious idiots. People who are completely unaware of their surroundings, even though they should be.